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Reconciliation means "eyelash to eyelash" This sacrament is of one two sacraments of healing, the other is Anointing of the Sick. It is a relational sacrament because two people are needed: the person to confess, the other to forgive. It cannot be performed or celebrated alone.
Confession is two-fold. It is 1) an admission of guilt and 2) an admission that we are loved by God. This is how the term, confession was originally used: as a confession of the love of God. It is also a proclamation of faith in Christ, who loves us and has come to heal us.
Penance is sorrow for sin externalized. It is an outward sign of an internal conversion. Penance is derived from the Latin, Poenitentia, which means a change of mind. It also comes from the Greek, Metenoia, which means conversion.
Forgiveness happens on the part of the person who is wronged. It is a free gift that only the wronged person can give. It is one thing to ask for forgiveness, it is another to be forgiven.
In the early Church, Baptism was the only sacrament for the forgiveness of sins. This means that if a member of the Church did something extremely sinful, there was no recourse to forgiveness again. Over time, the notion of a "second baptism" developed which provided the opportunity for forgiveness of grave evils; however, there was also only one shot at this and the process of forgiveness and re-initiation into the Church was long. The Order of the Penitent was developed by which the sinner went to the Bishop to confess one's sin(s). The Penitent was given process somewhat like RCIA today.
As the Church evolved, the concept of individual confession was instated. In the earliest form, "tarrif penance" was formed. This meant that for one's sins, the penitent would be asked to do something to make up for one's sins according to the gravity of the offense. It was based on justice. The idea was that if one falls short and injures another, the person needs to make amends and do something to make up for it.
All sin, in some way, be it public or private, hurts the entire Body of Christ, which, at baptism, we promise to build up. Therefore, no sin is purely personal, even those committed when all alone. All sin is not entirely between the sinner and God, it is also between the sinner and the Church, who was wronged. The sacrament not only restores us to God's sanctifying Grace, but also places us back into the good graces of the Church, the body that was harmed by our sin.
In order for the sacrament of Penance to take place, according to Thomas Aquinas, four things must take place:
- The penitent must confess one's sins.
- The Penitent must be truly sorry for the sins committed (contrition)
- The priest must absolve the penitent
- A penance is assigned and needs to be performed, not as a punishment, but as a medicine to help prevent future sin.
All priests who hear confessions are bound by the sacramental seal of confession, which means that a priest may not reveal anything revealed in the context of confession to anyone for any reason.
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